CHILLIN’ WITH THE ‘BAMA
ON THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD TO DAMASCUS
“The falcon cannot hear the falconer
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity…
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?
Wm. Butler Keats, “The Second Coming”
“…Can’t anybody here play this game?”
Casey Stengel, 1962 N.Y. Mets Manager
Originally published on vandalnation.blogspot.com
9/27/2013 at 1:22 pm Eastern Daylight Time
In the little mountains of Blue Ridge, the early chill in the still morning air, settles softly, whispers autumn’s quiet arrival. Leaves are turning early – flaming orange, brilliant yellow and deep crimson – dotting the mountainside, coming together in a picturesque orchestration, like notes that shape a musical score. Seeking southern sanctuary, my whimsical water fowl, winging their way to warmer climes have already begun their annual migratory journey. But outside this tranquil enclave, all is not serene.
Like the preening, loudmouth, 9th grade poseur, having drawn one too many lines in the schoolyard sand, Mr. Obama finally ran out of playground. Once again (and true to form), he disavowed any responsibility for the national trap he created with his braggadocio during an election in which he would say anything, obfuscate any truth, to achieve his victory. He comes now to the American people with the outrageous claim that he
did not draw the ill conceived “Red Line” regarding the use of the nerve agent Serin gas in Syria – but the world
drew the “Red Line”; that the enforcement of the anti-nerve agent policy does not jeopardize his
credibility, but the credibility of the U.S. Congress – and by extension the entire nation, essentially dumping all political and moral responsibility for any possible outcome on anyone and everyone but him
. Incapable of exerting any leadership nearly five years into his presidency, the ‘Bama, the original “Drive By” President, continues to elevate the ridiculous concept of “leading from behind” to a New Age art form.
After days and months of wheel spinning consultation with his sycophant brain trust and with a burglar’s brass balls, Obama proudly announced at a hastily called press conference that he had made not only one decision, but, in a superhuman executive effort, made two
decisions – as if presidential legacies were determined not by the quality, but rather by the quantity of the decisions made. His first decision? He had determined that immediate, firm, decisive action was required in the form of a “…targeted, tactical proportional strike of limited scope and duration”. His second decision? Notwithstanding his Secretary of State’s previous day’s cautionary admonition that immediate action was imperative, the ‘Bama (for whom the constitution is merely notional) would inexplicably delay any vote for 13 days until lawmakers reconvened in order to seek consent, which he maintained was “unnecessary”, from a body he had heretofore blatantly ignored. That latest 180 degree stunning foreign policy direction shift took even the groveling MSNBC official Obama cheerleading squad by surprise as they experienced another collective (if not confusing) thrill-up-their-leg orgasmic moment.
The credibility-challenged Obama administration by now should have learned the hard lessons of employing the military to achieve nation-building and regime change in the Middle East. With no clear or compelling National interest at issue, no specific end game, the obvious temptation of mission creep, and suffering from a severe case of military industrial complex sticker shock, war weary Americans are increasingly opposed, for a multitude of reasons, to any form of military action. Many of our government-gulag educated, functionally illiterate citizen-rabble have little interest in the political state of play and are much more focused on Kim Kardashian’s baby bump than any world transformative events in the Middle East— (who is this Ben Ghazi guy anyway?). Suffering from a terminal case of Attention Deficit Disorder, the hoi polloi, making the correct decision for the wrong reasons, are simply finding this new, intricate Syrian narrative too complicated to ponder, especially when “America’s Got Talent” is heading into the season finale.
The ‘Bama has made such a dog’s breakfast of what passes for a foreign policy that the nation finds itself in still another lose-lose international jackpot. He has effectively asked for a tactical missile strike intended to punish President Bashar al-Assad’s government while simultaneously supporting the dubious goals of several loosely organized groups of rebel sand simians, (the so-called “moderate” Free Syrian Army), who despise virtually everything American and are comprised in part by Muslim Brotherhood and Al-Qaida rebels, (who are reportedly whacking Christians like Mafia button men in the final episodes of the Sopranos). In addition to the missile strike, and in an unprecedented show of support for a recognized enemy combatant, the ‘Bama proposes to supply this Free Syrian Army of Muslim terrorists small arms and other tactical “support” to the tune of $350,000,000. The thought process behind this strategy is inexplicable. Can any American imagine FDR instituting a lend-lease program to Japan or Germany after Pearl Harbor? Or Lyndon Johnson shipping arms to the North Vietnamese during the Tet Offensive? (It must be noted that the Free Army rebels are skeptical of any promises of U.S. military aid after the ‘Bama reneged on an earlier arms pledge.)
The opposition in this fight to the death is a better organized – but just as bloodthirsty – army of Assad’s Syrian sand simians who detest us with an equal degree of vitriol. Some choice; rather like having to pick between the pedophile who abuses 8-year old girls and the pedophile who abuses 10-year old girls for the elementary school crossing guard job. I claim no expertise in the world of international diplomacy – Henry Kissinger I ain’t. But here’s a thought; when two barbaric groups of murderous enemies are wiping the floor with one another, why interfere? Step right up and meet Allah—and your 72 virgins.
And for all those long suffering liberals, neo-cons of the “kinder-gentler” persuasion and other politically ambivalent whiners out there in the New America whose concern centers on the pathetic need to do something
based on the exploitative videos of dead and dying innocents...take note; Serin gas is no doubt a terrible way to die - maybe worse than bombs, bullets or even incineration. Just ask the families of the tens-of thousands civilian casualties in the Iraq or Afghanistan debacles, many of whom were gassed with the U.S. barely issuing a statement of condemnation. As terrible as the Syrian civil war and the violation of international law may be – gas or bombs, young or old – dead is dead.
Despite having had his Secretary of State jetting around the world drumming up support for this pitiful military operation like a woeful Willie Loman hawking encyclopedias door-to-door, Obama had not a single taker in the U.N. community. As lonely as a Climate Change denier at an Al Gore fundraiser, once again, the U.S. would shoulder the entire burden – the international equivalent of the “Thin Blue Line”. Lobbing a few missiles would be little more than a sideshow diversion, accomplishing nothing except to assuage the ‘Bama’s ego in a reckless attempt to salvage what little credibility he may still possess with his decimated cabal of hope and change dreamers. This action would only send an even more ambiguous message to Syria in the most laughingly ineffectual terms possible; that the United States seriously frowns
on chemical warfare. Our Red Line, however, will not extend to genocide with conventional weapons.
Despite the fact that virtually the entire Middle East has been a war torn hell-hole for four decades, there remains a delusional American political faction which clings to the fiction that all peoples have a deep rooted, universal desire for a representative form of government when given the choice. As a “secular” society, proponents of military action in Syria claim it is an excellent candidate for a democratic form of government. That argument, trumpeted by nation-building neo-cons since the establishment of the “Bush Doctrine”, is a particularly offensive piece of sophistry. Syria, despite a more “moderate” semi-secular regime, is still hampered by a 5th century religious orthodoxy and warring Islamist religious sects and is a theocratic despotic regime. Incapable of embracing western style freedoms, it is too crazy to ever become a democracy and not quite crazy enough to become a giant insane asylum.
Obama’s outrageous decision to even contemplate such an action underscores the fact that he functions more like a thin-skinned community organizer than a Commander-in-Chief, willing to risk National Blood and Treasure to save his spiraling world-stage rep as an unprepared, lazy, weak and careless Imposter-in-Chief. And he is not without bi-partisan support for his foolishness. Pandering Republicans, whose haughty moral superiority is as hypocritical as it is insulting, are onboard for full scale regime change, including (despite their ubiquitous denials) “boots on the ground”. Apparently the nearly 7,000 dead American kids over the last decade haven’t quite sated their bloodlust. (And herein is the acid test for all hawks on either side of the isle – would you sacrifice your son or daughter in the defense these off-brand, grab-bag group of third-worlders?)
Out peddling the party line, Mr. Kerry, whose penchant for self-contradiction has achieved mythical status, continued to insist that this monstrous violation of international law cannot stand and is the
critical issue of our time. He simultaneously and illogically insisted that the military response to this heinous, universally condemned crime would be “...unbelievably small.” What, exactly, does that mean? Does the ‘Bama intend to deploy a miniature GI Joe toy Tomahawk missile set (batteries not included), targeted at Damascus? Is our courageous “Munich moment” response to these repulsive Hitler-esque “crimes against humanity” merely a “check the box” attack, of so little consequence that Assad and his blood thirsty war criminals will hardly feel it? Sinking in the muck of his verbal quagmire and unable to shut his pie-hole once he gets rolling, Kerry continued his loquacious nonsensical stream of consciousness by referring to this proposed meaningless pinprick of a response as “…not a war—not a war in the classic sense.” Tell that to Abdul, the collaterally damaged poor Syrian schmuck when the ceiling of his Damascus hut has just fallen in on his head and who views modern warfare and traditional (classic?) war as a difference without distinction.
Having given away the element of surprise, unwilling to attack with overwhelming force and with no clear understanding of the situation on the ground (the so called Islamist “vetted opposition”), this minimal effort (“just muscular enough not to get mocked”*) would have no effect— would in fact illustrate yet again to the world another embarrassing lack of U.S. leadership. The mind reels – but just when it appeared this prime time International reality show couldn’t get any weirder, the weird turned pro.
Kerry, who seldom resists the opportunity to say something exceedingly silly, responded to a London Times reporter’s throw away question at a press conference who asked what Assad could possibly do to avert the proposed military action. “Sure…he could turn over every single bit of chemical weapons to the international community in the next week,” Kerry replied, stumbling through an absurd, shoot from the hip, rhetorical wilderness. “But he isn’t about to do it, and it can’t be done, obviously,” he concluded, literally throwing up his hands, the clear implication being all this nonsense would come to fruition when monkeys fly out of Kerry’s Brahmin ass. Soon after he made his ill advised remarks, Kerry contacted his Russian counterpart to assure him none of this meaningless babble should be taken seriously. In the meantime, Vladimir Putin, realizing the ‘Bama and his sidekick Kerry had backed themselves into an inescapable red lined political cul-de-sac, moved with dispatch and accepted Kerry’s foolish, off the cuff offer on behalf of Assad.
It was obvious to anyone listening to Kerry’s botched answer that this was the first time he had even heard of, much less ever contemplated this inspection proposal scenario. Even so, in a performance worthy of an Oscar, he later made the bizarre claim (after a narrative polishing script adjustment with the ‘Bama) that this wasn’t a gaffe, but a serious, statesman-like, thoughtful and intentional strategy. For his part, the ‘Bama, incapable of avoiding the temptation to take authorship of someone else’s idea even if it’s absurd, also claimed the plan had been in the works for weeks having discussed it with Putin at the G 20 summit. (I am compelled to admit a begrudging, if not perverted, form of admiration for these shyster pols that are capable of spinning the most outrageously spurious tales on a moment’s notice with the full expectation of the listener’s total belief.)
Obama, who is being played like a bumpkin at his first carnival hoop-toss, reacted predictably with a knee jerk nationally televised Presidential address, delaying any Congressional vote – probably indefinitely – to give this farcical diplomatic solution a chance. To describe this comedy of errors as “fluid” would imply that Kerry and the ‘Bama actually have some degree of control in whatever bad faith bargaining protocol Putin chooses to imposed upon them. As of this writing, Assad and his puppet master Putin, (a deadly serious and capable former KGB operative, who is playing a geopolitical 3-dimensional chess match while the ‘Bama is worrying over a barrel top game of checkers), as expected, have already begun to place caveats on the illusory proposal, leaving Kerry and the ‘Bama bumping into each other chasing a self delusionary apparition.
The POTUS TV talk to the nation produced no new insight or perspective, no long or short term goals, no clearly defined mission – only more passionate, sentimental appeals to watch the horrible videos of dying children…Barrack’s twisted version of a politically partisan “Hallmark Moment”. He made the outrageously offensive claim that the phony chemical weapons disarmament deal – this “…opportunity for diplomacy”— was created as a result of the “…credible threat of military action.” What credible threat? Does Obama (or anybody) really
believe that this bogus “credible threat” actually frightened Assad, Putin or any of their ilk? Based on his op-ed in the New York Times in which he figuratively slapped Obama around like Mike Tyson whuppin’ up on a sock puppet, Putin is not exactly some whiney-pants sissy quivering in terror. Essentially the President of the United States came before the nation to persuade them that he had a valid rationale for postponing a Congressional vote he could never win, for a military action the people were never in favor of, to pick a fight he never wanted so Putin can keep him cooling his heels, hat in hand, waiting for a realistic
disarmament deal that will never come.
By keeping Assad in power, the ad hoc delaying tactic gives Putin, who has little interest in Syrian chemical weapons, the ability to re-emerge as a political player, preserve his anti-Western alliances throughout the region and keep his valuable lone naval base in Tartus. Assad, having dodged even a mini-missile attack, buys time to continue to wreak havoc in Syria and ultimately prevail in his battle with the rebels. And what exactly does the ‘Bama secure from this thoughtfully crafted grand strategy? In the vernacular of my old East side Italian paisans – Obama gets stugots
!
And this is the thoughtful generalship from the smartest guy in the room? Yowza! Some general. Some deal.
The candidate who would be Monarch, who declared that age of cynicism was over, who arrogantly proclaimed “… this (was) the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow, when our planet began to heal…” sadly, despite his saber-rattling bluster, has become Putin’s bitch. The delicious irony? For years the ‘Bama preached that Assad was a diabolical dictator and his immoral, illegitimate regime must go, while at the same time excoriating Putin for protecting the malefactor. With his desperate acquiescence of this delaying tactic framed as a legitimate disarmament proposal, Obama has been suckered into a deal with Putin and the war criminal Assad which forces the recognition of his regime as the de facto
government. As a result, the ‘Bama must rely on their arbitrary timetable for implementation and would be totally dependent upon that government to fulfill all aspects of the disarmament process, (inspector safety, weapon stockpile locations, removal of any chemical weapons, etc.), which could take years. As if the mere presence of Assad wasn’t noxious enough, the third member of this shameful triumvirate is Putin, the former KGB agent, Super Bowl ring thief and notorious international gangster who reportedly has a predilection for heaving political and business rivals off the roof of tall buildings.
With this in mind, Kerry, in his role as Secretary of State, would be well advised to schedule all future face to face meetings with Putin at any Red Roof Inn motel, which, I understand, are all single story affairs.
Several months from now, when the ‘Bama’s Press Secretary Jay Carney is asked about the progress of the Syrian peace process, his response will be framed in circular talking points, non-answer answers… “productive talks continue”… “frank, constructive and open exchange of ideas”…yadda-yadda-yadda. And perhaps, reprising his infamous answer to a Benghazi question, he might conclude his reply with a rejoinder in his unique double-speak style “…but that was a long time ago,” as if time evaporates all truth into the Orwellian fog of obfuscation. Such is the manner by which the President of the United States, allegedly the most powerful leader on earth, may ignominiously skulk away in humiliation, just another off-the-rack, barely mediocre politician and, ultimately, a victim of his own ineptitude and arrogant vanity.
But keep the faith! “Hope and Change” forever spring eternal in the breast of true believer, especially when free stuff is in the bargain. So take heart, all is not lost – things are looking up…today is free Calzone day at Jersey Mike’s.
In the New America, one must learn to savor life’s little pleasures as they come.
Freddie Van (a road weary child)
*unnamed U.S. official to the L.A. Times








